slopprat

This will probably be my last journal on this account.

I just want to get this out by this point, because I am still having attacks and nightmares over this. Please understand that I believe I have every right to make a journal of this degree, because of the multiple situations I’ve been put through over the past couple of months, it’s only natural that I have gotten to a point where I can take no more.

 I am not a good person, I’m not saying I am… Everyone has flaws and mistakes and they shouldn’t be taunted or laughed at because of this. But I also feel like I have been taking on a lot of emotions no one should have to go through alone, I was never truly part of the group, just someone who could fill in the shoes no one else wanted, and when they got someone else to fill those shoes I was no longer needed.

I didn’t want this, any of this, but I had no good options in any of the situations I’ve been put through and sometimes it feels like I’m running myself into a wall with what little pride I have left. It’s humiliating and heartbreaking of things I’ve said and done over the past few months, but maybe one day someone will look through my eyes and see that I was cornered, emotions running through at a pace I couldn’t handle. I can only hope that one day everything will be normal again, but I know this is a silly dream of someone who is clinging to the little hope they have left.

 I must leave everything behind and I don’t know if even then if it’s going to get any better. Now I’m even more confused and frustrated then I was when the messes that have been made starting… I hate this, what other option did I have? I ask myself this over and over, but I have not gotten the answer yet, so I can only continue to ask people who can only give their best thoughts without knowing everything.

For anyone who wishes to contact me… Note me for my new discord on my new account on the front of my page. As I stated before, due to these issues I might act like this is the first time we have met, this is because I can no longer live with myself knowing myself as “Slopp” the name hasn’t done anything good to me, so Slopp is no longer here.